I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
