soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
