what day is it and did you see me today?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
