Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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