genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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