I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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