Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
too bad you live with your parents still
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
