I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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