its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
