do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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