Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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