Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
