I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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