Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
