walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
