in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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