ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
