Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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