ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
the raccoons are back...
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