You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
