we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
