..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
