Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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