none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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