I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
