So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
