Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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