Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
