Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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