Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
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Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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