turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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