they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
