I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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