is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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