writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
