I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
