im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
