5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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