I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
