i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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