I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Even my vagina gasped.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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