It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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