windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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