So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
please come you make the beer taste better
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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