Sponge bath it is.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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