STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
did i just pee glitter
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
