As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
