The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize