some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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