I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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