I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
