The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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