PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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