fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
