It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
