And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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