i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
