I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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