She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
