capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
