Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
