I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I want is dick and wine.
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