I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize