**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
