Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
