No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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